Sam-n-Finley call on Dee. (Deepen Rambling)

When the young sounding male voice on the telephone the other week asked me if it was O.K. to call on me yesterday, I obviously enquired as to the reason for his visit. He then introduced himself as a member of the Nottinghamshire Fire and Rescue service and had been referred to me by one of the agencies that receive fierce criticism from most of us. He went on to explain how the fire service made visits to the.........well lets say, "Not so very young", to wit........
in a word........."folks like me" to make safety checks and install smoke alarms if necessary. So........at about the pre-arranged time, ting tong and lo-n-behold there on the doorstep was no less than "Fireman Sam" and believe it or not "Finley the Fire Engine" parked in the street looking like a small block of flats on wheels and two more members of the team as well as the two at my pad.(eat your heart out ladies) Not the expected visit but more mob handed one might think casually strolling past but when the full facts are to hand would realise that the full crew approach really is a "F&R" unit on standby making use of waiting time. For the record, if a "Shout" had been received by this crew then off they would have whizzed in a trice with all "Blues-n-Screamers" flashing and blaring.
The main point is of course, all my rooms were checked accompanied by advice as and when by one member whilst the other guy fitted two new smoke alarms............all free I might add, is that quite remarkable or what????? When I say advice, I mean in the event of......... how to cope and what action to take, escape plans, various "Do's and Dont's", that kind of thing.
In conclusion, I would like to say my sincere thankyous for such a wonderful and thoughtful service by two very polite and extremely smart people...............Thankyou.....................Deepen.

Fairs-n-Jams-n-lots of Prams. (Deepen Rambling)

Yes indeed, last Sunday 12th July was the Annual "prampush" day at one small town that has been my home for more years than I wish to remember. Just under and beyond the M1 motorway, northwards, lies this "sleepy" (some would say) little ex-mining community albeit now grown in size with it's shopping precinct and Supermarket replacing an old factory.Once a year since 1973(although with a break of a couple of decades) the town center is closed off for around five hours to through traffic and the crowds of revellers take over. Well you know Prampush really is the excuse for all and sundry and anyone else to have a jolly good old booze-up as the multitudes wander from pub to pub or ride on the fair, eat chips and pizza, hotdogs and the like. I suppose, traditionally, this country is one of a few that still keep up such harmless pursuits, where people have a whale of a time doing absolutely nowt methinks.

Ironically, the Brewery is now closed which used to slack the thirst of so many and I suppose some of the towns residents who can remember that far aback, me included, feel a certain sadness at it's passing but hey-ho "Tempus Fugit".........."What would our so-n-so have thought about that ?" you can almost hear them say as they turn in there new residences.

But getting back "tut-th-push" day, what a lovely day weatherwise with good hearty fare and fair, plastic tumblers of brew, lots of chat and kisses ,not only from the misses, missus, or sometimes Mrs!! (Ooops)
Yup!.....aint it great to be British ??????.............................................Deepen.

Not to Knight.......Josephine!! ( Deepen Rambling)

Well that does it for me..........been waiting all morning for the Postie who has just been and would you believe it..........NO KNIGHTHOOD !!............again this year. Thought it was a bit late as it had not arrived by Saturday and assumed today would be the day but not a scorrick, not even a mention in despatches. Well, I can tell you this, if they are intending to treat me in this way year after year and it certainly seems like they are I will definately refuse to accept one when they do offer.

But seriously, am I the only person on this 'ere Planet who is a tinsey winsey bit confused as to why people who achieve a certain status of say famous actor, singer sportsperson etc and get rewarded very well indeed are then further rerwarded with a Queens Honour ? Ok yes I am aware that non famous people do, on occasions, receive awards but cannot for the life of me understand the logic (if there is one) behind an award of a Knighthood for say an actor who has been more than generously rewarded for services rendered. Can imagine many people who work all sorts of hours and in some quite inhumane conditions receiving a lot less for their trouble feeling somewhat grieved,as I do, at this apparent excess. All walks of life are included in this comment and are no doubt referred to as the silent majority, but make no mistake about it.............most peoples existance would be a whole lot less confortable without them.

If I keep banging on about this and that for much longer I will need a new box to stand on at maybe my own "Speakers" corner. The fact of course is, we are continually informed, "It has always been that way" as though in some strange way makes all the difference...............Yeh right......................................................Deepen.

I say--I say--I say. (Deepen Rambling)

"What a plonker Rodders"........No doubt we have all heard that remark and it would possibly fit us all at some stage in our life as I know it would me on occasions. Do you ever stop and take stock of what has just passed your lips in conversation, or have thought of something said in the past which later comes to mind and causes you extreme embarassment? Many is the time when finding myself in that situation have wished the ground would have opened up and swallowed me..................Yuck!

Only today whilst out shopping at my local supermarket found myself "in line" (Yankee remark)at the Checkout behind a lady I have known for a number of years and the conversation went something like this...................."Hello Dee, just doing your shopping ?" as she peered into my trolley which was groaning with my prospective purchases..........."Of course not," (I felt like saying) "Just waiting for a bus." What in the name of all sanity did she think I was pushing around ?.........A new born baby perhaps in disguise, or maybe taking my smalls to the laundry ?

On another occasion overheard one Guy talking to another about a leaking tap at his home when the listener said, "Have you tried turning it off".........WHAT !!......Bet he thought of saying something like, "No as I like the sound of running water."

This one absolutely slays me................Talking recently to a friend about some lovely lunching experiences with my regular Lady Companion, happened to mention a few Restraunts we have visited recently and how much enjoyment had been experienced. Each time I put forward a name this person replied with, "That's an expensive place to dine", or "That place is SO DEAR" as though I was enquiring about a recommendation. There again felt like saying, "Pin back your lugholes I have just been there and understand how much things cost you silly old P***t" but of course I didn't and just changed the subject like the Gentleman I work very hard to be these days..........."Hey Ho" aint life great..........if you dont weaken.

All this frustrating nonsense is a part of lifes rich Tapestry we all encounter from time to time and I suppose we can always go somewhere quiet and have a damn good SCREAM!!!..............................................Deepen.

Dream on.............(Deepen Rambling)

Many years have passed since this event occured, but it seems as if it was only yesterday.
As a heavy goods licence holder, I was enroute through the peak district one snow stormy night with a large covered vehicle which had a canvass sheet draped over the rear entrance to protect the full capacity load. At about one-thirty in the morning as I recall, driving through almost "white out" conditions, felt a huge bump accompanied by a grinding noise. As I stopped and attempted to investigate this event,(in the blinding snow remember) soon realised that to continue was inpossible so decided to make a night of it right there.
So.....huge lorry,cant move,cab not big enough to stretch out, blizzard conditions, load space packed to maximum, freezing cold wind, get the picture ? decided to bed down with sleeping bag on the tail board and drape the canvass sheet over to help protect me.

Not quite sure how long I had been there asleep but came too with a start as someone was nudging me awake, with a light temporally blinding me which soon became apparent was the headlights of a large car. "You cant sleep here sir",said the chauffure of the car,"Madam wishes for you to join us out of the weather"pointing in the direction of the lights. Knocking the snow off my boots proceeded to climb into rear seat of this conveyance and was immediately confronted by very warm air, heavy........oh so heavy with the most amazing obviously expensive Perfume which seemed to send my head spinning. As I cleared my eyes and they adjusted to this beautiful environement became totally aware of my host holding a glass, containing a large and I mean very large Brandy, and offered in my direction. "Slip this inside you,"she murmered,"You must be frozen to the core". Now...... whether the Brandy or the circumstances generally were the reason, I was convinced I had "arrived", in Heaven of course...........these things do not happen to me, I thought, but there it all is, huge limmo', sat next to this beautiful blonde and remembered her saying, "You must come and stay up at the Hall with us". Well.........."Can a Duck swim?" I thought and accepted immediately whereupon soon found we were driving into a large Courtyard protected from the snow somewhat.
As my Host proceeded through the entrance doorway, her real sable full length fur coat followed eventually or so it seemed, looked back and said, "James will look after you" as she disappeared inside.
Go with the flow I thought as the lovely young maid prepared my bath in the largest "tub"imagineable, supriseingly followed by the most sensuous massage of my life and was then shown into a huge bedroom which I was informed had been designated to me for the night. Throughout this scenario much more of the fabulous Brandy was made available to me and of course was having a wonderful effect as my weight slowly sank into the Kingsize mattress.........oh yeh....oh yeh I thought just as my Host put in an appearance at the door.
Framed in the doorway with the light of the landing producing a gorgeous image outlining her form through her full length gossamer gown murmered, "Is everything to your liking?" and when I nodded my approval, moved towards me. Her stilletto sneakers seemed to make her legs go on forever and I swear right up passed her eyebrows...........mmm nice Brandy. Her next move was to sit on the edge of and then lay on the bed next to me, her shoulder length hair spread across the pillow, my head spinning with a combination of Brandy and Perfume.My heart was pounding and I was trembling from head to toe..............."Nice one" I thought, struggling for breath.
As she turned her head towards me asked, "Is there anything else you desire?" I then rolled over to face her and fell off the tail board into the cold wet snow............................................Deepen.

"It's a mistake (Guv)........honest !"( Deepen Rambling)

Well now, I'm quite sure that most people today are familier with the news this week and that includes many people all over the world. This country has been washing it's laundry in public.........well at least certain elected members of society that is and I am sure we all have formed an opinion of this.



There is an advertisement on the television, and elsewhere, which appears to be provoking people into "Snitching" on "Benefit cheats" who maybe perfectly decent people in desparation "bend" the rules. It is all too easy to judge a situation, maybe wrongly, and point a finger when all that is wrong is the crazy system which could be brought up to date with great savings to the "Public purse". If a situation arises in ones life and we are backed up against the wall, so to speak, survival takes over and we become very different people not pausing to think logically. This point of view is only one scenario of course and obviously "Rats in the Barn" do exist undeniably but methinks caution when forming opinions is good advice. Wouldn't it be nice if sometime soon we could all see a complete overhaul of these systems and practices, bringing them up to date and into the 21st Century to the benefit of us all ? Maybe some of the "Squillions" we have all seen sprinkled about in certain quarters recently could be used for this purpose ??.........yeh right............dream on Dee.



Further to this point of view, if anyone falls foul of this antiquated system the penalties can be very severe, no matter what the circumstances or how much the "perpitrator" was in desparate need, often for so little............sound familiar ?

Oh ! what a tangled web we weave when first we set out to deceive.




So then, WHY-o-WHY is there so much deliberating and soul searching when it comes to "righting wrongs" and why is the temptation not being removed from the greedy and corrupt

in that particular sector........"Hang on there mate,"....... " How can you justify that statement?"

Well, the Law of the land is for everyone, not just for those below a certain "glass" ceiling and if credibility is to be mentained at home and across the rest of the world, Justice has to be seen to done and swiftly for all. I doubt if our glorious leaders are able to calculate the fall-out, or are ready to "bite the bullet" and take the actions necessary to limit the damage already created. The question is ,I suspect, most people will see this fiasco as though all are guilty in Government when in truth possibly only a relatively small group are involved.



I mean let us move to the other end of the spectrum, surely we cannot expect someone to manage without light bulbs can we ? or food, decorating, videos, or clothes ?

Now there is a thing, clothes, the Inland Revenue do not allow deductions for clothing (unless for a specific protection) most certainly suits etc are not allowed or similar for smart appearance at work.......Double standards here again !!



I suppose we can all waffle on....... add-infinitum until something else attracts our attention and we form another opinion, (See "In my opinion" Monday 4th May) about something else waiting in the wings.Of this opinion, here and now, I am sure............We CANNOT do anything about it but maybe hold this thought as some kind of consolation................."If you lay down with Dogs..........you can get up with Fleas".................................................Deepen.

"In my opinion"..............(Deepen Rambling.)

How many times do we hear and say this within a conversation? "My opinion is this"........"In my opinion"........."What's your opinion of".........Yes that's correct we all have one, for better or worse, even if the rest of the world (it sometime seems) disagree with us.
Of this I am certain..........Todays opinion can evaporate like the morning mist tomorrow and become something entirely different.

Now let me say, before I get into full flight, this blog is not one of those "Holy than Thou" occasions but merely an observation and of my own personnal experiences.

Some years ago (all too many for comfort) I was invited to make some comments to a Newspaper, in interview, on behalf of the Company employing me. As this experience was a "First" for me fell in the hole I excavated for myself and could not get out. There is, it would seem, lots of traps just waiting for the unwarey (like yours truly). I believe it fair to say, "Dont fish in unknown waters", but there I was giving it the almighty verbals, in full flight, running off at the cakehole to my deep regret. As the interview concluded I casually mentioned to the scribe," Of course I will need to approve all this before you publish"...........WOW!!.......what!! did I say? the reaction could not have been more hostile. At one point it would not have been a surprise if a National strike had ensued, well I can tell you, "One huge lesson learned that day".

There is a saying which is always close to my mind these days, "Keep ones cards close to ones chest", I suppose this origanates from the game of Poker ,mind you, knowing and doing are two different things.
Recently, whilst listening to a radio interview, was reminded of my own first time and how I too had an "Axe" to grind whilst letting my opinions vent freely, but looking back now it all seems so futile and pointless. Peoples opinions do not really matter to me or mine to them, as life moves on relentlessly and tomorrow is another day of opinions............in my opinion.........it's an ever changing opinion.

We can convince some of the people all of the time...........and all of the people some of the time............BUT, we cannot convince all of the people all of the time....................................Deepen.

Hysteria Area. (Deepen Rambling)

Group Hysteria, for want of a better description, I feel is a very dangerous phenomenon and all my life from being knee high to a Grasshopper have respected it's dangers. I have, since then been very concerned indeed when thrust into a situation beyond my direct control. Let me try to explain..............it all seemed to start when at about nine years old and as an avid follower of Notts County footy club was leaving the ground after a match when the huge crowd surged toward the exit which was much narrower. As a result, and this was very fortunate for me, was lifted off the ground and carried along beyond the exit where the crowd pressure was released and I was able to touch the ground once more. Things would have been much different had I been forced down and probably trampled underfoot which does not bear thinking about.

Recently the "Hillsborough" disaster was remembered and there again crowd surge caused that tragedy. Maybe others of you reading this blogg remember Ibrox park where the shear weight of human bodies actually twisted tubular steel barriers like soft spaghetti, both with fatal results. Travelling along by the side of Nottm Forest ground some time ago at a time when the crowd of fans were leaving, again after a match, was forced to stop by people wandering into the road as though they were invinceable. Common sense and reasonable behaviour seem to evaporate as a crowd intensifies and powerful forces seem to take over.

Again quite recently we have heard of a demonstration where strange behaviour ensued with fatal results, hysteria resulting from high emotion that probably started out as peaceful protest.
It seems to me that crowds of people do certainly breed the hysteria to which I refer and to that end keep my distance whenever the numbers start to increase.

Was it Lord Byron who once said, "All the World is queer but thee and me and sometimes even thee seems a little queer" ?.....................................................Deepen.

The route of life ! (Deepen Rambling)

Today, after much thought I intend to make lots of comments about "The route of life" and where it takes us as if everything is preplanned at some point (unknown). Now dont go running away with the idea that I have gone all religious or worse blown a fuse, cos I aint, but I need to set the scene, so to speak, please bear with me though just for a tick.

After more than thirtyfive years my Wife was diagnosed with Alzeimers and am very proud to say I looked after her on a "seven/twentyfour" basis for more than seven years. This is not the place, but maybe in the future, to go into that "nightmare scenario"but suffice it to say, "It was Hell".

During that time, and beyond,it gives me the greatest of pleasure to report on and honour all (and I feel I may miss some)the wonderful people (Angels in disguise) I(we) met along that route. Natually, there is always at least one "Fly" in the ointment but this is not a perfect world and the people upon it are not perfect either (says he putting hand up to that one). I have a very soft spot for the one fly in question..............A bog in the south of Ireland !......... I digress.

From one end of the Professional spectrum to the other, far too many beautiful people to mention here, all contributed more or less depending upon their role, to easing my burden and changing the route of my life.

Before the point slips into obscurity let me say at this time, all the hell (and there was a huge amount) in some strange way has and is being compensated for as I now feel life is much richer for me than before. Now there is a statement!! but the question still remains in my mind, "Is the route of life planned for us at some point". Many hours have passed in deliberation and pondering so many questions that I do believe this to be the case. Yes I did think our life together would not be interupted by a disaster such as this and if someone had given me definate proof of this impending doom, would have dismissed it out of hand. But IT HAS!! happened and as a result, along this route I have met and am still meeting the most wonderful people and experiencing such lovely events I could never have dreamed of.............I hereby salute and embrace them all.

Is this my reward for all the agony and tears of so many years ? I ask myself .............who knows? Of this point I am sure ...............No one can speak convincingly about this subject without the experience!!!!!!!!................."It aint possible"...............Fact!!.............................Deepen.

What a Stonker.( Deepen Rambling)

WoW!!! what a stonker the weather has been this week already and it's only April, but from past experience we still are not out of the woods, so to speak, as May can be a pain in the rear entrance, me thinks.
Having had a few problems last week and been out of action, mobility wise, I decided to "give it my all" starting Monday with a trip to the Gymn (I always spell it that way as it is an abreviation of gymnasium, yeh ???)and "pumped" away with new found strength and vigour. Early afternoon I made a meal for a friend and myself which we ate outside on the patio along with a few G & T's and Irish coffees. In the evening we decided to put in an appearance at a couple of local Pubs and after a few pints, a Shepheards pie and a few packets of crisps hit the sack at well after midnight which meant the early morning swim evaporated along with the morning dew. The afternoon workout proved to be a disaster as I could not move the weights that I did the previous day let alone lift them." So????? who's fault is that and who cares" I hear you say. Well Jealousy is a terrible thing you know !!! (Look at my face,,,,,,I'm not bovered).
We are now getting to the point of all this waffle(thank goodness)..........This morning at 4.15am.
yes that IS correct, having not been able to sleep, opened the bedroom window as the daylight was just about putting in an appearance. The new day was just laying there, untouched and ready to go with not a sound except a deep rumbling(Seltzer soon took care of that) also a constant traffic drone from the motorway some mile or so away. Yours truly decided in one moment of shear madness , it was time to head outside if only to conduct the "Dawn chorous" as the Birds had not yet burst into song as is so often the case in Spring. I then proceeded to wrap myself around a bowl of Porridge and honey followed by three bacon slices in a toastie.(outside.........5-30am mind........how absolutely manic is that????)
Now the trouble with all this weard behaviour is...........One falls asleep on a nice and contented tum, only to awake with the air temperature plumeted,as it does on a clear dawn, chilled to the core and LATE(What a plonker rodders) AND.....................this is the real lulu.......dog tired and ready for bed. Think I'll see about trying Hypnosis, or is that Noshipnis, or maybe Sisnypho but whatever....bet I sleep tonight. Have been advised to drink Cammomile tea before bedtime.........ever tried it ?? It's like liquid daisies ( bet I'll be blooming well soon!!) but am giving it a go along with the peppermint tea and Ginger tea.............I wouldnt dare do anything else and risk the wrath of my adviser(ess)!!!!!! .....................Deepen.

Research " Tinternet"(Deepen Rambling)

Thought I would take a quick Toot ont Tinternet and research the family tree. (no not the apple or pear tree) The tree of heredation. Oh no!......there is no such thing as a "quick" anything with computing, yeh?
A couple of facts turned up though which may or may not be of interest, firstly, one ancester actually was killed at the Alamo.......something like the battle of wounded knee it would appear...........well actually he was camping in the next field and went to complain about the noise. The other one had a morbid fear of flying and was travelling to America by ship when it sank...............A plane crashed into it!!!!! Anyway, will carry on my research to see if there are anymore choice pieces of history worth a mention.................................Deepen.

That's my favourite. (Deepen Rambling)

Have you noticed the lack of rear car window stickers these days? it was something that always amused me and 'ere are a few of them.
There was of course the good old chestnut usually on an old banger (or shed) above all the rust and verdigree;- "My other car is a Porche" or something like;-"Make a squillion pounds by ringing this number".............Yeh right!
"If you can read this, you are too close"........................................................ "If you want to be up my A*** you must kiss me first".
"Whats the difference between a police car and a Hedgehog?"........."The Hedgehog has the p***** on the outside".
"On a Mission"..........on a what???? to Mars perhaps.
"On a promise"........OK nuff sed.
"When God made Man..........she was only joking!!!!"
"My wife has laurangitis and I dont want to miss a minute of it".

"My friend says his wife is an Angel.........He's lucky!.....mines still alive !"

"Never underestimate the power of a woman.
And of course, my very favourite is;- "If you can read this, what's happened to my Caravan?"
Oh nearly forgot;- "I love kids but couldn't eat a whole one"
One I think is worth a mention but was on a Tee shirt and not a car:-
"Cover me in Honey and throw me to the Lesbians".
During the "Eighties" whilst on holiday in California, I put under the boot lid of my hired car, (oops Trunk) something which was very popular here, a pair of hands or at least the fingers as though someone was trapped inside.What a Hoot!!!! literally, everywhere we went and people jesticulating at us trying to tell us while we just waved. "You British!!!!!"
Ah well..........bet there will be more come to mind as soon as I finish this Blogg................................Deepen.

Hellooooo!!!! anyone there???????? (Deepen Rambling)

Way back in my past, ooooooh in the 19?*'s, when men were MEN and sheep were nervous(or so I am relyably informed) and I was a scruffy little "Tiche"(like last week)............the point is.........if I can keep my thoughts straight for more than a second(and no have not touched a drop of ouwt) sitting back to retrain the thoughts. The point is, lets say for convienience,"Quite a long time since", how's that???..........Now where woz I ???????? Oh yes, we as kids were always experimenting with our own very crude communications devices( as well as other things cough! cough! urhum!). As I recall, my fellow Tiche and I had a piece of string stretched across the road to around the back of our houses and leading to our bedroom windows and a small cardboard box. Now believe it or not( and I dont care which you choose) we could speak to each other, as we had it arranged,after "bedtime".Dont you go running away with wrong ideas now, when I say speak to each other, I mean, not like we do today with our cellphones, but could make ourselves understood........ish.

Following that phase, there was the crystal set, chemistry set and I suppose the Boy Scouts and Girrrrlz!!!! phew!!!....... Just when things started to get interesting, along came National Service which to the uninitiated(think thats it) all young men, ONLY, no young ladies, were seconded for a period of two years to serve our glorious leaders and paid eff all for our trouble. OK, thats enough wingeing. Moving on..........Kenya was my destination with it's Mau Mau terrorists and as a trained telegraph operator was posted to a station 15miles outside Niarobi. The point we are slowly getting to is:- the communication devices ie radio transmitters and receivers were huge by todays standards, as large as a room and a large wardrobe respectively and yet at a guess were only perhaps 10% as powerfull as todays Cellphones, without all the cool gizmoes(of the cellphones that is) and only used a code...........Still with me?..............

Recently a new mobile came into my posession having dumped the old "wood burning"model (cant get the right wood)and after spending many hours "twiddling", as instruction books do ramble on more than this Blogg, find myself quite "up to date" (ish). Having virtually filled up all the memory with piccs(not mine........the phones you understand) made enquiries about downloading the images to my 'puter." This Bluetooth is the way" the man said ".what tooth??????" (modern man talking here) "Plug your Dongle into your USB port"........sounds painfull to me I thought but Hey! what the heck, dont knock it until you have tried it. I did......I have.........hey presto! one giant step for this member of my generation...............Deepen.

Posh Nosh, Posh Dosh. (deepen Rambling)

Having been recently widdowed, I thought it about time to shake a leg and get out into the big
wide world, so, arranged to meet my regular lady lunching companion. As a result of a strong
recomended venue, made the necessary arrangements for a midday foray into the gastronomic
delights offered. The location was in a Historical part of the city and as I wandered among the cobbled narrow streets, in the shadow of the cities castle, my mind (such as it is) started to imagine some very strange scenario.I anticipated the sound of horses hoofs (or is that hooves) clipperty clopping en-mass conveying strangely attired forms carrying various weaponary, staffs, bow and arrows, chanting "Down with the Sherriff " etc. Well...... let me tell all of you "doubting Thomases" out there, it really did seem like it.........honest, 'cos I woz there.
Any road uppherds.............I digress...........mmmm..........where woz I?????.........oh yes.....Lunch.
So, having arrived at my location, a few minutes early, (dont believe in keeping the lady waiting) was taken aback by this period building obviously converted into it's present form ideally suited for dining and "dinkies". Standing at the "French doors" entrance to this emporium, remembered thinking as my date walked towards me, Wow!!!...........you are definately out classed here Dee...........definately!!! However, after a few glasses of "pop" a very
nice lunch ensued, accompanied by lots of chat (as you do) and three hours seemed to absolutely
fly by at a great number of knots. Here's to the next time.............................Deepen.

Oh! Dear....Dear.....Getting Dearer. (Deepen Rambling)

Went to bed last evening, feeling somewhat smug with myself, having just launched my own Blogg site over the Easter weekend. (How sad is that??????)
Just as the dawn of another beautiful day was making it's presence known to those of us "Early Birds"(incidently.......worms are all early birds do catch) my attention was diverted to the National News as I suppose was most others.
"What a travesty!!" yet another world famous Celeb' has to surrender so much of his fortune
to the parting of the waves(or is that "waife".........no,,,,,no,,,,I meant" Wife "). Now I dont know about you out there, but the thought of being so "poor" as to be left "all alone" with as little as a few Million smakers in the big wide world scares the strides right off my pins. You know, this sort of thing is getting all too common these days............Good on yer Babe!!!!!!!!!
Another thing, (gets back on box with finger waving at the heavens) WHAT is all this "pre nuptual aggreement" crack about???............."Darling, I love you 'till the end of time," and"I worship the very ground you walk upon,"also, "We will be together until the Sun grows cold".........."Just as soon as you sign this PN aggreement".
Once again I feel, the generation gap makes it's mark to the overtures of "In my day".
It's a great life.................................for some.....................................................Deepen.

What a Spring to Clown with.(Deepen Rambling)

Glory be..............Here we are on Easter Sunday 2009 and the dust from christmas has not yet settled. However, I must say that the Spring flowers have given their very best, at least in my modest patch and now with the bulbs fading leaving it to various flowering plants to make up the shortfall. I noticed last evening, after the damp of the day, that certain calm just before dusk was accompanied by occasional twitering(and the birds were singing as well)Nag......Nag....Nag...Nag.
"When Spring is sprung and grass is rizz, I wonder where doze boydiz is..............
Doze boydiz out upon de wing.........
But dats obsoyd, de wings is on de boyd"........
"Jimmy, the word is BIRD".
"Gee Moerh........sure looks like a boyd".
.......................................................................................
The Elephant is a lovely bird,
It swings from bough to bough,
Makes it's nest in Rhubarb trees,
And whistles like a Cow...................Boom...Boom.
.................................................................................................................
People who live in glass houses should not cross their bridges until their chickens have hatched.
.................................................................................................

.................

Phew! I feel much better for that, but of course this blogging platform does allow one to digress somewhat, would you know especially if one is wearing ones broyn troysers and drinking broyn windsor soup..........nyes???....hiah....hiah.........

So,,,,,getting back to this Spring thing.........I have just been thinking..........(quite a task in my case)..............Polyanthus............does one say, "Polyanthusus or sees, or is it sisis??"
It's a bit like Hippopotymus.......is that mouse, moose or musiss.
Then again, the Fairys did leave the woods because there was not mushroom.
I know a Fairy, her name is Nuff..............Fair enough.

I suppose we can now look forward to quite a long period of cremated meat and/or the smell
of it wafting in the evening breeze and midges taking swimming lessons in our shampers.
Then for further delights there is the skimperly dressed, short skirted, stilletoe clad forms
to further turn the hungry gaze,(and they are just the fellers), but hey ho, live and let live.

And after what seems to be a never ending series of hangovers, inspecting our latest over indulgence
for the second time, sleepless nights after solar excesses, hearing loss,skin peeling and tears.......
we can look forward to the fact that Santa is only some thirty odd weeks away with another round of c/c bills and the like....................
It's a great life!!!!!!!!!!(if you dont weaken)so step it up people...............................Deepen.

Ferckled Folicles. (deepen Rambling)

Now that Spring is fully upon us, the grey matter started to twitch, so I decided to arrange for some TLC for mware and duly headed for a suitable venue.Upon arrival I was greeted by a member of the gender required and steered gracefully to a place where foam and warm water were much in evidence."Would you care for massage sir?" was the request, well can a duck swim I thought? and accepted eagerly. As this treatment progressed, the sensations increased with tinglings along my spine reaching all the way to the dingle and as my attitude was prostrate it appeared to me as if I had arrived. Now I am very partial to a bit of ferckling of the folicles in fact having my folicles ferckled is my favourite thing or at least certainly one of them.So, there am I flying on cloud nine with my position being changed on a regular basis and with the addition of various electrically driven devices adding to the what can only be described as a wonderful experience. The use of so many mirrors of course, seemed to enhance this as did the copious use of perfumed products. Alas, as with all good things the end arrived in what appeared to be no more than a trice and in the final moment when something one holds dear leaves ones possession and a deflated feeling washes over the individual like a popped balloon.In the flick of an eye I found myself outside again and as I looked back the thought crossed my mind,"Was that hairdo really worth the £50 I have just paid?".........