Hysteria Area. (Deepen Rambling)

Group Hysteria, for want of a better description, I feel is a very dangerous phenomenon and all my life from being knee high to a Grasshopper have respected it's dangers. I have, since then been very concerned indeed when thrust into a situation beyond my direct control. Let me try to explain..............it all seemed to start when at about nine years old and as an avid follower of Notts County footy club was leaving the ground after a match when the huge crowd surged toward the exit which was much narrower. As a result, and this was very fortunate for me, was lifted off the ground and carried along beyond the exit where the crowd pressure was released and I was able to touch the ground once more. Things would have been much different had I been forced down and probably trampled underfoot which does not bear thinking about.

Recently the "Hillsborough" disaster was remembered and there again crowd surge caused that tragedy. Maybe others of you reading this blogg remember Ibrox park where the shear weight of human bodies actually twisted tubular steel barriers like soft spaghetti, both with fatal results. Travelling along by the side of Nottm Forest ground some time ago at a time when the crowd of fans were leaving, again after a match, was forced to stop by people wandering into the road as though they were invinceable. Common sense and reasonable behaviour seem to evaporate as a crowd intensifies and powerful forces seem to take over.

Again quite recently we have heard of a demonstration where strange behaviour ensued with fatal results, hysteria resulting from high emotion that probably started out as peaceful protest.
It seems to me that crowds of people do certainly breed the hysteria to which I refer and to that end keep my distance whenever the numbers start to increase.

Was it Lord Byron who once said, "All the World is queer but thee and me and sometimes even thee seems a little queer" ?.....................................................Deepen.

The route of life ! (Deepen Rambling)

Today, after much thought I intend to make lots of comments about "The route of life" and where it takes us as if everything is preplanned at some point (unknown). Now dont go running away with the idea that I have gone all religious or worse blown a fuse, cos I aint, but I need to set the scene, so to speak, please bear with me though just for a tick.

After more than thirtyfive years my Wife was diagnosed with Alzeimers and am very proud to say I looked after her on a "seven/twentyfour" basis for more than seven years. This is not the place, but maybe in the future, to go into that "nightmare scenario"but suffice it to say, "It was Hell".

During that time, and beyond,it gives me the greatest of pleasure to report on and honour all (and I feel I may miss some)the wonderful people (Angels in disguise) I(we) met along that route. Natually, there is always at least one "Fly" in the ointment but this is not a perfect world and the people upon it are not perfect either (says he putting hand up to that one). I have a very soft spot for the one fly in question..............A bog in the south of Ireland !......... I digress.

From one end of the Professional spectrum to the other, far too many beautiful people to mention here, all contributed more or less depending upon their role, to easing my burden and changing the route of my life.

Before the point slips into obscurity let me say at this time, all the hell (and there was a huge amount) in some strange way has and is being compensated for as I now feel life is much richer for me than before. Now there is a statement!! but the question still remains in my mind, "Is the route of life planned for us at some point". Many hours have passed in deliberation and pondering so many questions that I do believe this to be the case. Yes I did think our life together would not be interupted by a disaster such as this and if someone had given me definate proof of this impending doom, would have dismissed it out of hand. But IT HAS!! happened and as a result, along this route I have met and am still meeting the most wonderful people and experiencing such lovely events I could never have dreamed of.............I hereby salute and embrace them all.

Is this my reward for all the agony and tears of so many years ? I ask myself .............who knows? Of this point I am sure ...............No one can speak convincingly about this subject without the experience!!!!!!!!................."It aint possible"...............Fact!!.............................Deepen.

What a Stonker.( Deepen Rambling)

WoW!!! what a stonker the weather has been this week already and it's only April, but from past experience we still are not out of the woods, so to speak, as May can be a pain in the rear entrance, me thinks.
Having had a few problems last week and been out of action, mobility wise, I decided to "give it my all" starting Monday with a trip to the Gymn (I always spell it that way as it is an abreviation of gymnasium, yeh ???)and "pumped" away with new found strength and vigour. Early afternoon I made a meal for a friend and myself which we ate outside on the patio along with a few G & T's and Irish coffees. In the evening we decided to put in an appearance at a couple of local Pubs and after a few pints, a Shepheards pie and a few packets of crisps hit the sack at well after midnight which meant the early morning swim evaporated along with the morning dew. The afternoon workout proved to be a disaster as I could not move the weights that I did the previous day let alone lift them." So????? who's fault is that and who cares" I hear you say. Well Jealousy is a terrible thing you know !!! (Look at my face,,,,,,I'm not bovered).
We are now getting to the point of all this waffle(thank goodness)..........This morning at 4.15am.
yes that IS correct, having not been able to sleep, opened the bedroom window as the daylight was just about putting in an appearance. The new day was just laying there, untouched and ready to go with not a sound except a deep rumbling(Seltzer soon took care of that) also a constant traffic drone from the motorway some mile or so away. Yours truly decided in one moment of shear madness , it was time to head outside if only to conduct the "Dawn chorous" as the Birds had not yet burst into song as is so often the case in Spring. I then proceeded to wrap myself around a bowl of Porridge and honey followed by three bacon slices in a toastie.(outside.........5-30am mind........how absolutely manic is that????)
Now the trouble with all this weard behaviour is...........One falls asleep on a nice and contented tum, only to awake with the air temperature plumeted,as it does on a clear dawn, chilled to the core and LATE(What a plonker rodders) AND.....................this is the real lulu.......dog tired and ready for bed. Think I'll see about trying Hypnosis, or is that Noshipnis, or maybe Sisnypho but whatever....bet I sleep tonight. Have been advised to drink Cammomile tea before bedtime.........ever tried it ?? It's like liquid daisies ( bet I'll be blooming well soon!!) but am giving it a go along with the peppermint tea and Ginger tea.............I wouldnt dare do anything else and risk the wrath of my adviser(ess)!!!!!! .....................Deepen.

Research " Tinternet"(Deepen Rambling)

Thought I would take a quick Toot ont Tinternet and research the family tree. (no not the apple or pear tree) The tree of heredation. Oh no!......there is no such thing as a "quick" anything with computing, yeh?
A couple of facts turned up though which may or may not be of interest, firstly, one ancester actually was killed at the Alamo.......something like the battle of wounded knee it would appear...........well actually he was camping in the next field and went to complain about the noise. The other one had a morbid fear of flying and was travelling to America by ship when it sank...............A plane crashed into it!!!!! Anyway, will carry on my research to see if there are anymore choice pieces of history worth a mention.................................Deepen.

That's my favourite. (Deepen Rambling)

Have you noticed the lack of rear car window stickers these days? it was something that always amused me and 'ere are a few of them.
There was of course the good old chestnut usually on an old banger (or shed) above all the rust and verdigree;- "My other car is a Porche" or something like;-"Make a squillion pounds by ringing this number".............Yeh right!
"If you can read this, you are too close"........................................................ "If you want to be up my A*** you must kiss me first".
"Whats the difference between a police car and a Hedgehog?"........."The Hedgehog has the p***** on the outside".
"On a Mission"..........on a what???? to Mars perhaps.
"On a promise"........OK nuff sed.
"When God made Man..........she was only joking!!!!"
"My wife has laurangitis and I dont want to miss a minute of it".

"My friend says his wife is an Angel.........He's lucky!.....mines still alive !"

"Never underestimate the power of a woman.
And of course, my very favourite is;- "If you can read this, what's happened to my Caravan?"
Oh nearly forgot;- "I love kids but couldn't eat a whole one"
One I think is worth a mention but was on a Tee shirt and not a car:-
"Cover me in Honey and throw me to the Lesbians".
During the "Eighties" whilst on holiday in California, I put under the boot lid of my hired car, (oops Trunk) something which was very popular here, a pair of hands or at least the fingers as though someone was trapped inside.What a Hoot!!!! literally, everywhere we went and people jesticulating at us trying to tell us while we just waved. "You British!!!!!"
Ah well..........bet there will be more come to mind as soon as I finish this Blogg................................Deepen.

Hellooooo!!!! anyone there???????? (Deepen Rambling)

Way back in my past, ooooooh in the 19?*'s, when men were MEN and sheep were nervous(or so I am relyably informed) and I was a scruffy little "Tiche"(like last week)............the point is.........if I can keep my thoughts straight for more than a second(and no have not touched a drop of ouwt) sitting back to retrain the thoughts. The point is, lets say for convienience,"Quite a long time since", how's that???..........Now where woz I ???????? Oh yes, we as kids were always experimenting with our own very crude communications devices( as well as other things cough! cough! urhum!). As I recall, my fellow Tiche and I had a piece of string stretched across the road to around the back of our houses and leading to our bedroom windows and a small cardboard box. Now believe it or not( and I dont care which you choose) we could speak to each other, as we had it arranged,after "bedtime".Dont you go running away with wrong ideas now, when I say speak to each other, I mean, not like we do today with our cellphones, but could make ourselves understood........ish.

Following that phase, there was the crystal set, chemistry set and I suppose the Boy Scouts and Girrrrlz!!!! phew!!!....... Just when things started to get interesting, along came National Service which to the uninitiated(think thats it) all young men, ONLY, no young ladies, were seconded for a period of two years to serve our glorious leaders and paid eff all for our trouble. OK, thats enough wingeing. Moving on..........Kenya was my destination with it's Mau Mau terrorists and as a trained telegraph operator was posted to a station 15miles outside Niarobi. The point we are slowly getting to is:- the communication devices ie radio transmitters and receivers were huge by todays standards, as large as a room and a large wardrobe respectively and yet at a guess were only perhaps 10% as powerfull as todays Cellphones, without all the cool gizmoes(of the cellphones that is) and only used a code...........Still with me?..............

Recently a new mobile came into my posession having dumped the old "wood burning"model (cant get the right wood)and after spending many hours "twiddling", as instruction books do ramble on more than this Blogg, find myself quite "up to date" (ish). Having virtually filled up all the memory with piccs(not mine........the phones you understand) made enquiries about downloading the images to my 'puter." This Bluetooth is the way" the man said ".what tooth??????" (modern man talking here) "Plug your Dongle into your USB port"........sounds painfull to me I thought but Hey! what the heck, dont knock it until you have tried it. I did......I have.........hey presto! one giant step for this member of my generation...............Deepen.

Posh Nosh, Posh Dosh. (deepen Rambling)

Having been recently widdowed, I thought it about time to shake a leg and get out into the big
wide world, so, arranged to meet my regular lady lunching companion. As a result of a strong
recomended venue, made the necessary arrangements for a midday foray into the gastronomic
delights offered. The location was in a Historical part of the city and as I wandered among the cobbled narrow streets, in the shadow of the cities castle, my mind (such as it is) started to imagine some very strange scenario.I anticipated the sound of horses hoofs (or is that hooves) clipperty clopping en-mass conveying strangely attired forms carrying various weaponary, staffs, bow and arrows, chanting "Down with the Sherriff " etc. Well...... let me tell all of you "doubting Thomases" out there, it really did seem like it.........honest, 'cos I woz there.
Any road uppherds.............I digress...........mmmm..........where woz I?????.........oh yes.....Lunch.
So, having arrived at my location, a few minutes early, (dont believe in keeping the lady waiting) was taken aback by this period building obviously converted into it's present form ideally suited for dining and "dinkies". Standing at the "French doors" entrance to this emporium, remembered thinking as my date walked towards me, Wow!!!...........you are definately out classed here Dee...........definately!!! However, after a few glasses of "pop" a very
nice lunch ensued, accompanied by lots of chat (as you do) and three hours seemed to absolutely
fly by at a great number of knots. Here's to the next time.............................Deepen.

Oh! Dear....Dear.....Getting Dearer. (Deepen Rambling)

Went to bed last evening, feeling somewhat smug with myself, having just launched my own Blogg site over the Easter weekend. (How sad is that??????)
Just as the dawn of another beautiful day was making it's presence known to those of us "Early Birds"(incidently.......worms are all early birds do catch) my attention was diverted to the National News as I suppose was most others.
"What a travesty!!" yet another world famous Celeb' has to surrender so much of his fortune
to the parting of the waves(or is that "waife".........no,,,,,no,,,,I meant" Wife "). Now I dont know about you out there, but the thought of being so "poor" as to be left "all alone" with as little as a few Million smakers in the big wide world scares the strides right off my pins. You know, this sort of thing is getting all too common these days............Good on yer Babe!!!!!!!!!
Another thing, (gets back on box with finger waving at the heavens) WHAT is all this "pre nuptual aggreement" crack about???............."Darling, I love you 'till the end of time," and"I worship the very ground you walk upon,"also, "We will be together until the Sun grows cold".........."Just as soon as you sign this PN aggreement".
Once again I feel, the generation gap makes it's mark to the overtures of "In my day".
It's a great life.................................for some.....................................................Deepen.

What a Spring to Clown with.(Deepen Rambling)

Glory be..............Here we are on Easter Sunday 2009 and the dust from christmas has not yet settled. However, I must say that the Spring flowers have given their very best, at least in my modest patch and now with the bulbs fading leaving it to various flowering plants to make up the shortfall. I noticed last evening, after the damp of the day, that certain calm just before dusk was accompanied by occasional twitering(and the birds were singing as well)Nag......Nag....Nag...Nag.
"When Spring is sprung and grass is rizz, I wonder where doze boydiz is..............
Doze boydiz out upon de wing.........
But dats obsoyd, de wings is on de boyd"........
"Jimmy, the word is BIRD".
"Gee Moerh........sure looks like a boyd".
.......................................................................................
The Elephant is a lovely bird,
It swings from bough to bough,
Makes it's nest in Rhubarb trees,
And whistles like a Cow...................Boom...Boom.
.................................................................................................................
People who live in glass houses should not cross their bridges until their chickens have hatched.
.................................................................................................

.................

Phew! I feel much better for that, but of course this blogging platform does allow one to digress somewhat, would you know especially if one is wearing ones broyn troysers and drinking broyn windsor soup..........nyes???....hiah....hiah.........

So,,,,,getting back to this Spring thing.........I have just been thinking..........(quite a task in my case)..............Polyanthus............does one say, "Polyanthusus or sees, or is it sisis??"
It's a bit like Hippopotymus.......is that mouse, moose or musiss.
Then again, the Fairys did leave the woods because there was not mushroom.
I know a Fairy, her name is Nuff..............Fair enough.

I suppose we can now look forward to quite a long period of cremated meat and/or the smell
of it wafting in the evening breeze and midges taking swimming lessons in our shampers.
Then for further delights there is the skimperly dressed, short skirted, stilletoe clad forms
to further turn the hungry gaze,(and they are just the fellers), but hey ho, live and let live.

And after what seems to be a never ending series of hangovers, inspecting our latest over indulgence
for the second time, sleepless nights after solar excesses, hearing loss,skin peeling and tears.......
we can look forward to the fact that Santa is only some thirty odd weeks away with another round of c/c bills and the like....................
It's a great life!!!!!!!!!!(if you dont weaken)so step it up people...............................Deepen.

Ferckled Folicles. (deepen Rambling)

Now that Spring is fully upon us, the grey matter started to twitch, so I decided to arrange for some TLC for mware and duly headed for a suitable venue.Upon arrival I was greeted by a member of the gender required and steered gracefully to a place where foam and warm water were much in evidence."Would you care for massage sir?" was the request, well can a duck swim I thought? and accepted eagerly. As this treatment progressed, the sensations increased with tinglings along my spine reaching all the way to the dingle and as my attitude was prostrate it appeared to me as if I had arrived. Now I am very partial to a bit of ferckling of the folicles in fact having my folicles ferckled is my favourite thing or at least certainly one of them.So, there am I flying on cloud nine with my position being changed on a regular basis and with the addition of various electrically driven devices adding to the what can only be described as a wonderful experience. The use of so many mirrors of course, seemed to enhance this as did the copious use of perfumed products. Alas, as with all good things the end arrived in what appeared to be no more than a trice and in the final moment when something one holds dear leaves ones possession and a deflated feeling washes over the individual like a popped balloon.In the flick of an eye I found myself outside again and as I looked back the thought crossed my mind,"Was that hairdo really worth the £50 I have just paid?".........