The last post.......(Deepen Rambling).

Today has been one huge suprise and no mistake, cant believe what's happened.
It is almost one year since my good Lady departed after fighting the dreaded Altz.....
for almost ten years, during which I witnessed a healthy woman turned into a
living skeleton. How can life be oh so very cruel, well if there is a reason that makes
sense, in the name of all sanity I cannot recognise it. At the very least, a feeling of great
pride and comfort flows within me in the knowledge that I cared for her on a 7/24
basis for over seven years. During that time a "Learning Curve"was experienced in dealing with all aspects of the dementia, including Incontinance. Also, one of the worst aspects was witnessing on a day to day basis my life long friend losing her sanity(for want of a better description) as though a tap projecting from one of her ankles had a dripping leak and her life force was draining away, one drop at a time. From then on I was forced to commit my Soulmate to
an institution (AMI) as lifting and general handling became impossible, also my own health was at this point in great decline.
It would appear I have digressed from my origional point, which is, this morning was the day chosen to scatter the ashes and yours truly turned up at the appointed place in the local cemetary. After this short ceremony and the undertaker had left, a huge wave of emotion
decended upon me which took me by suprise I can tell you, WoW!! "Where did that come from." For about another half hour my thoughts were all over the place, with the spring wind
blowing it's icey vengeance and me totally oblivious to this at the time. As I sat upon a bench seat, everything causing me bother seemed to be presented before me, as if watching a film and all of a sudden everything was crystal clear at the end and I knew exactly what to do and how to put things to rights. This sort of an event is not what one expects others to understand but the experience convinced me how to proceed from that point. I did find one sympathetic ear though with a friend who had experienced her own exceptional occurance during the bereavement of two of her close relations. One thought has stayed with me though, "End of one lifetime......End of an era.......End of the final chapter." My Wifes wish was not to be left alone after me and she certainly achieved that at the end of her journey through life although I know this way would not have been her chosen vehicle. It is also patently obvious to me now why she had a morbid fear of being alone.................Not only that but the whole world seems to have changed, people mostly much younger seem to be more mature, confident and carry on like they have invented the wheel ,(and other things of course, Uhum!!)............I suppose Lord Byron clinched it when he wrote............All the world is queer but thee and me.............and at times even thee seems a little queer....................... It aint no picnic,....innit?
"Move on Dee".....................Deepen.